It still hurts.
Written on 12:25 AM by DRV
I already told you. There is nobody else I know that I would have a better time with. I poured myself out.
I've known you since we were kids. I've gotten to know you on a more personal level as we went through the trials and tribulations of high school. Almost everything I've done, you did the following year.
We've been through so much, but you don't see it. Even after you took over the reins, I told you how much time you'll be spending growing from your experiences. Recognition is hard to come by, but I recognized you time and time again, because it was something I never got enough of when it was mine.
So why is it that now that we're done with that part in our lives, you can't even acknowledge me? I've done you all sorts of favors in the past, and when it comes to me asking you for something--you rarely pull through.
I'm tired of the excuses. I know how busy you are, but don't you ever take my time into account? I'm just as busy, if not more busy, than you are. Scratch that. I'm busier than you, period. Especially now.
There. I said it.
It's not jealousy. I swear. I don't even look at you in that way.
I just don't understand why you'd rather have dinner with someone in his late 20's that you only met a couple years ago. I've known you for half a decade, and you still would rather hang out with somebody you already spend a lot of time with. I only asked for one night and volunteered to pay for everything, but you wanna try and act "fair" about it.
I vented about it to someone else, and she responded: "How would you feel if somebody didn't go to your birthday dinner?"
Me: "How would I feel if an 18-year old didn't show up to my 28th birthday dinner? Uhh... I don't think I'd care."
I know he's not your average man in his late 20's but come on.
I really expected more from you. I thought we were *crosses fingers* that!
What really disappoints me is that you can't even talk about it with me.
I don't think I'll be able to talk to you anymore. You take pride into thinking that you're not like a certain someone who was once your best friend... but if you ask me, maybe you're worse than she is. And it pains me to say that.
Thanks for the memories, but it's pretty obvious that you don't care anymore--that's really a shame.
--
If she bothered talking to me about this incident--that's what I'd say to her. But she hasn't yet, and that's really disappointing.
I thought that after graduating from high school and working to change as a person would make me escape mutual rejection. But no, it still hurts. It hurts more than ever.
